Pity You- The Moral Police in Kerala

Yesterday, I came across a post in one of the Facebook groups I belong to. The group is meant to be a space for sharing knowledge and discussing spirituality. However, I was disappointed to see a post attacking a woman who had expressed her views about the so called “sadachara police” in Kerala.

I would like to share my thoughts about the incident in Calicut, the idea of moral policing, and the Facebook post by Jisha Elizabeth. I am not trying to defend every word that was written or offend anyone. I simply want to look at the issue from a different perspective.

The incident took place at Downtown Cafe in Calicut, a well known cafe that was highly rated on TripAdvisor. A Malayalam television channel, Jaihind TV, aired footage of a couple showing affection inside the cafe. The footage was reportedly recorded using a hidden camera. Soon after the footage was aired, a group of people claiming to represent moral values came to the cafe and damaged it. They also demanded that the police take action against the owner.

Later that same day, many people in Calicut showed their support for the cafe by gathering there. The response from the public made it clear that many people did not agree with what had happened.

This raises a simple question. Why should people be so disturbed by two adults expressing affection in a cafe?

As citizens, we have certain constitutional freedoms, including freedom of speech and expression. Of course, these freedoms have reasonable restrictions, but I find it difficult to understand how the simple expression of affection between two consenting adults becomes a matter for strangers to police.

Perhaps it would be better for us to trust the values we have taught our children. If we believe that we have brought them up with good values and a strong sense of right and wrong, we should also trust them to make their own decisions.

What concerns me even more is the selective nature of moral outrage. We sometimes react strongly to young people showing affection, while remaining silent when someone is publicly humiliated, abused or treated without dignity.

For example, there have been situations where people have gathered around and watched someone in an embarrassing or difficult situation instead of helping them. Public abuse and harassment are not uncommon either. If we genuinely care about morality and culture, perhaps our first responsibility should be to help people when they are in need and to treat everyone with dignity.

Culture is important, but culture should not become an excuse to interfere unnecessarily in the private lives of others.

There is another point that I would like to make. From the photographs and reports surrounding this particular incident, the couple appeared to be non Malayali. People who visit another part of the country may not necessarily follow every local custom or social expectation in exactly the same way. We can certainly explain our customs and ask visitors to respect them, but forcing someone to follow rules that are not legally applicable to them is another matter.

A cafe is a public business, but it is not a place where strangers should be given the authority to decide how two adults may behave simply because they personally dislike it.

Now I would like to come to Jisha Elizabeth's Facebook post.

As I understood it, she wrote that she does not kiss her boyfriend in public because she feels shy, not because she believes affection itself is wrong. She also criticised the people who reacted strongly to public displays of affection while celebrating stories about Lord Krishna and the Gopikas.

People are free to express their opinions on their own Facebook pages. We do not have to agree with everything someone writes. If we disagree, we can discuss the ideas respectfully.

What disappointed me was what happened afterwards. Someone shared photographs of Jisha from her own Facebook profile in a large group, after which many extremely abusive comments were made about her appearance, character and family.

I do not want to repeat those comments here. They were deeply personal and degrading. Whatever one's opinion of Jisha's post, attacking her appearance, calling her names, insulting her parents or making vulgar comments about her does not contribute anything to the discussion.

If we disagree with someone's ideas, we should challenge the ideas, not humiliate the person.

I also find it troubling when photographs from someone's personal profile are taken and shared in a large group simply to encourage others to ridicule that person. Before doing something like this, we should pause and ask ourselves whether we would be comfortable if the same thing were done to us or to someone close to us.

There have also been other incidents in Kerala where people travelling together have been stopped and questioned by self appointed moral police simply because they were a man and a woman. In some cases, innocent people have faced serious personal consequences because of assumptions made by strangers.

This is why I am uncomfortable with the idea of moral policing. When ordinary people appoint themselves as guardians of other people's morality, innocent people can end up paying a very high price.

If we truly care about culture, values and morality, perhaps we should begin with ourselves and our own homes.

At the same time, I want to make one thing clear. I do not agree with every statement in Jisha Elizabeth's post.

I personally felt uncomfortable with her comments about Lord Krishna. I am a believer in Hinduism, and I do not think it is necessary to insult religious beliefs in order to make a point about moral policing. There are different literary and religious traditions surrounding the stories of Krishna and the Gopikas, and these stories have been interpreted in many ways over time. Whatever our personal interpretation, I believe religious figures and beliefs should be discussed with some sensitivity.

However, disagreeing with one part of her post does not mean that I agree with the abuse directed at her. She has every right to express her opinion, just as others have the right to disagree with her.

We should be able to hold both ideas at the same time.

We can disagree with someone without humiliating them.

We can respect our culture without forcing it on everyone.

We can value tradition without turning ourselves into moral police.

And we can defend freedom of expression without necessarily agreeing with everything that is expressed.

I also believe we should be careful before accepting sensational television reports as the complete truth. News channels have a responsibility to present events fairly, and viewers have a responsibility to question what they see and hear before forming strong opinions.

Nobody is trying to destroy Indian culture simply because they have a different view of relationships or public affection. People have different backgrounds, beliefs and boundaries. As long as their actions remain within the law and do not harm others, I believe we should allow people a reasonable amount of personal freedom.

For me, the real issue is not whether two people kissed in a cafe. The real issue is how quickly we are willing to judge, shame and interfere in the lives of people we do not even know.

Maybe we should spend a little less time policing others and a little more time becoming better human beings ourselves.